Standing on top of the bar, wrapped around a stripper pole, Heston Blumenthal peers through his trademark glasses to pick out his next victim. Wielding a bowl like a Frisbee, albeit brimming with gigantic slabs of ice cream, he hurls it across the room at the “lucky” recipient.
Unlike the previous guest, who caught Heston’s airborne gift, this one misses entirely and the bowl crashes into the wall, splattering ice cream everywhere, including over the pear tarte Tatin it was destined for. DJ Niko, specially flown in for the evening from Verbier, switches up the music to Zorba the Greek, and crockery starts flying through the air …
Welcome to the Mountain Gourmet Ski Experience: an eye-popping insight into the mad world of Britain’s best-known Michelin-starred chefs at play. Organised by London-based ski operator Momentum Ski and now in its third year, the long weekend has grown into a four-day celebration of food, wine, fun and excess with a dash of skiing on the side. The event’s original trio of trouble makers, Heston Blumenthal, Marcus Wareing and Sat Bains, were joined at this year’s event last month by Clare Smyth, the first female British chef to be awarded and retain three Michelin stars. It’s an exceptional blend of culinary talent and big characters, each star travelling with a small retinue of chefs plucked from their respective restaurants and transplanted into Alpine kitchens to create unique dishes for the weekend.
One of the 60 fortunate guests attending the event, I discover that the onslaught on our stomachs starts from the moment we congregate at Heston’s The Perfectionists’ Café in Heathrow airport at 7am on Friday. A breakfast of pastries, truffle pizza, eggs Benedict and salmon is completed by a doggy bag stuffed with chicken tarragon sandwiches and a giant slab of chocolate brownie for airplane munchies. A quick transfer from Geneva airport brings us to Courmayeur, the glamorous Italian mountain town that hunkers beneath Monte Bianco, or Mont Blanc as it’s known on its other, French, side. Within minutes of arriving in town, we stroll through snowy cobbled streets for the next meal: a generous buffet lunch in the locals’ favourite, Caffé della Posta. Effectively sipping Prosecco and nibbling on beef tartare through the afternoon, there’s time for a quick shower before supper at our hotel, the plush Grand Hotel Royal e Golf, kicked off with Heston’s signature nitro cocktails and Aperol jellies served outside by fire pits. Together with local dignitaries, we do our best to dent the mouthwatering spread of local Val d’Aosta specialities prepared by the team behind the Royal’s Head Chef, Maura Gosio. There are feather-light ravioli, melt-in-the-mouth cured meats and succulent ragouts as well as truffle nitro ice cream from Heston’s Fat Duck team.
The following morning, most guests squeeze in a couple of hours’ skiing with instructors laid on by Momentum Ski before rolling into a “wine-tasting lunch” at the cosy mountain restaurant, Château Branlant. Such is the draw of the delicious food and wine (and Heston’s DJing skills) that even the most determined skiers fail to make it back outside before the lifts close. And yet, just hours later, we’re back up on the mountain, swaddled in ski kit (worn over our glamorous evening attire, obviously), ready to be whizzed to a nine-course gastronomic dinner at La Chaumière by a herd of snow mobiles. Hurtling up the hill, our path lit by flaming torches dotted alongside it, is somehow more memorable than the journey back down over six hours later after (among others) Sat’s stupendous crab salad, Clare’s delicate salmon and Marcus’ unforgettable steak …
And thus we roll from one meal to the next, lengthy lunches and gastronomic dinners accompanied by a few too many glasses of local wine, interspersed by skiing, husky dog sledding and dancing. It is, without a shadow of doubt, the most hedonistic and indulgent weekend I’ve experienced, in the company of some of the world’s finest chefs and an eclectic mix of fellow gourmands. Come here with an expandable stomach, a sense of humour and love of fun and food, and it will prove the best grand-a-day long weekend money can buy.
Top price: £4,470 for the full-board four-night Mountain Gourmet Ski Experience 2017 (exact January dates to be confirmed) in a top suite.
Bargain price: £3,850 for half-board in a standard double room.
momentumski.com
